Cooking For A Shag
By Peter Anthony
From Chapter One...
You my friend are bombarded with the news that food is erotic, eating with your snuggle bunny is going to guarantee a good night of rumpy pumpy and oysters, mangos, figs are sure-fire ways to sultry passion.
Well, the single guy in Goole doesn’t really give a fiddler’s toss about that, he just wants to know how to get her bra off by the second date. And I don’t mean the dried dates at Christmas.
The second date
- Grilled mushroom caps with pesto and parmagian cheese.
- Homemade garden potato soup with cheddar cheese and croutons. (Garlic bread optional).
- Homemade fresh chocolate mousse. (No, I’m not kidding)
To pull off this little stunt it will require a swift trip to Sainsburys for a small basket of goodies.
Prepping the starter and pudding beforehand, then having the audacity and sheer gall to cook the soup from scratch again in front of tonight’s shag.
An added bonus to the food for this little love-feast is it’s probably cheaper to put together than the price of two or three pints of bitter. How cool is that?
Soupah sexy supper
Invite your victim, sorry, date over for a bit of supper and a movie. She’ll be so shocked that you didn’t say, “Fancy a shag,” that there is a good chance the word “yes” will accidentally fall out of her mouth.
We now need food that can be easily eaten either from the table or the coffee table or off knees in front of the telly.
Home made tomato soup with parsley garnish and garlic bread. This soup tastes so good even you won’t believe you made it.
(Don’t be frightened by the word garnish, it just means chuck a few bits of stuff on at the last minute. Garnish was originally created to hide the chef’s cock-up by detracting the eye with pretty colours. It has nothing to do with how the food actually tastes.)
She had more legs than a bucket of chicken
Meat: So far I have given you menus without the stuff but there comes a point when we need to start to include it.
The first two evenings were meatless (except for your own) and actually totally suitable for the vegetarian vixen, but tread carefully if you date one of these girls.
Have you ever seen a really healthy looking vegetarian? Usually they are on the thin side, small knockers, and for some reason nearly always have bad hair. A tad lank. If you like a lass with a bit of shape and a few curves then you’ll definitely need one who likes to get her lips around a good pork chop or a chicken leg.
